A Difficult Story of Loss and Workplace Boundaries
Bereavement leave is designed to give employees time to grieve after losing someone significant in their lives. For many, this time off is essential to begin processing their emotions without the additional stress of workplace demands. However, a recent situation has sparked fierce online debate about how far this benefit should stretch.
An employer decided to deny bereavement leave to an employee who had just experienced a pregnancy loss. Over the course of 2024, this employee had endured 13 pregnancy losses, taking 13 weeks of paid bereavement leave in total. Each of these losses lasted only a few days, which led the boss to question whether the policy was being misused. The most recent miscarriage, involving a three-day pregnancy, became the tipping point.
The Employer’s Perspective: Frustration and Policy Revisions
The employer, visibly frustrated, shared his dilemma online. He explained that after supporting the employee through repeated pregnancy losses and providing paid time off, he was struggling to manage the impact on the workplace. He also noted that the employee’s most recent pregnancy began just a day after she returned to work, which raised questions about the timing and frequency of the requests.
The Online Reaction: A Divided Public
The situation struck a nerve, with opinions sharply divided. Some sympathized with the employer’s predicament, pointing out that the constant absences created challenges for the business and coworkers. One user commented, “It’s not sustainable to keep granting time off without boundaries. The workplace isn’t a charity.”
Others, however, viewed the employer’s actions as cold and unempathetic. “Pregnancy losses, no matter how short the duration, are devastating. Denying bereavement leave is heartless,” another commenter argued. Many called for a more compassionate approach, emphasizing the emotional toll of repeated miscarriages.
Bereavement Leave Policies: A Necessary Workplace Support
According to the New York Life Foundation’s “State of Grief” report, 76% of employees consider bereavement leave policies a critical factor when evaluating job opportunities. Furthermore, 85% said they would feel proud to work for a company that actively supports grieving employees.
Experts stress the importance of clear and fair bereavement policies. Rebecca Soffer, author of The Modern Loss Handbook, recommends providing at least five days of paid leave for grief-related situations. Employers should also consider adjusting work expectations and offering counseling to support employees through difficult times.
Striking a Balance: Compassion vs. Accountability
In this case, the employer’s actions reflect the tension between empathy and practicality. While it’s crucial to support grieving employees, unchecked leave policies can strain workplace dynamics and productivity. A more structured approach—such as offering maternal health benefits, counseling, or alternative leave options—might provide a better balance between supporting employees and maintaining fairness.
The online community didn’t hold back in their responses, with many accusing the employee of taking advantage of the company’s kindness and generosity.
The Broader Lesson: Workplace Grief Needs Better Solutions
This incident highlights the inadequacies in how many workplaces handle grief, particularly in complex situations like pregnancy loss. Companies must rethink how they approach bereavement leave, balancing compassion with clear boundaries. Whether through updated policies or additional support services, addressing grief in a way that respects both employees and the business is essential.
By navigating these challenges with care, employers can foster a workplace culture that values humanity without compromising operational needs.